01 September 2009

WWW Java Tech Sessions (Misguided By Google, Fooled By Fowler)

Java Frameworks of all sorts are like investment scams where the proponents try to make a lot of money without really getting anything done. So far, their success has been so amazing that most adapting developers and freshly graduated rocket-scientists are gasping for breathe one project to another.

In an effort to offer some enlightenment, a group of highly disgruntled individuals has proposed a WWW (What Went Wrong) series of Java technical sessions as a rescue package. The following topics has been compiled while these idiots are stealing time from they corporate development duties.

1. Waking Up From Hibernate (2-3 hours)
2. Fooled By Fowler (30 minutes)
3. How Not To Be Blocked By Bloch (1 hour dementing session)
4. Escape From Jakarta (1 hour)
5. Be Cool With Just 3 Patterns (3 hours)
6. Only The Gays Use Design Patterns (Until wee hours)
7. Head First Macro (6 hours)
8. Developing For Failure (10 minutes)
9. How To Cheat JUnit (1 hour)
10. Teaching: The Ultimate Exit Strategy (to be outsourced)

There's a bonus pack too.

1. How We Exorcised The Jerks Who Tried To Rule The World With Android (new!)
2. How To Cheat Estimation For Project Managers (1 hour)
3. Corporate Development Tips And Tricks (As If There's Any)
4. Save Yourself With PowerBuilder (All Time Favorite)
5. FoxPro For Dummies
6. The Geek Shall Inherit The Shit

All these brought to you by Green And Gold Outsourcing, (GAGO) Inc.