The Devil's Dictionary

This stuff was written 1881, the guy who conceptualized this is truly ahead of his time. Truly high-tech. :))

Here's a few of my favorite entries:

ALLIANCE, n.

In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

BORE, n.

A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

CONGRATULATION, n.

The civility of envy.

asteeg di ba?